Nobody gets into a relationship intending to get hurt. It seems like to have a relationship at all — especially a dating relationship — puts you at risk of being hurt or rejected by a person you care about very much. But anything worthwhile has its risks. I agree with the old saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
To not love is to make our lives empty, cold, and in deep need. That being said, it still hurts a lot when someone rejects you. Let’s face it, we are imperfect people who have relationships with other flawed humans. Hurt and unmet dreams are inevitable.
However, what doesn’t have to happen after your heart has been broken is for you to heap more heartbreak on top of it. Here are some common mistakes people make that add further insult to injury, so to speak.
Here are four things to avoid:
1. Don’t date destructive people.
Some people want to experience love again so badly they end up getting involved with all the wrong people. I talk a lot about this on my blogs about love addiction. These people have no real idea who the person is they think they are in love with.
Some relationships are simply not worth the drama. You can save yourself a lot of pain if you commit to only dating people who are stable and have their act together.
Relationships are challenging enough. Why shed needless tears by getting involved with a dysfunctional person?
2. Don’t overreact and embarrass yourself.
When someone you love rejects you, it’s easy to overreact. The pain and confusion from a break up can cause you to do just about anything to get your boyfriend or girlfriend back or perhaps to get revenge on your ex by causing them pain. So be sure to think twice before:
- Posting anything to social media. Once it’s out there the world will see it… even if you later delete it. A day after posting, you might wonder, “What was I thinking?” The fact is, you weren’t thinking. You were reacting.
- Behaving obsessively, such as driving by your ex’s house 100 times or calling your ex over and over again. These kinds of reactions will just make your self-esteem sink lower. Hold your head high and go on with life.
Embarrassing yourself only makes the pain worse and slows down the healing process.
3. Don’t over-analyze.
Some people (and this may be you) are big-time dwellers. They spend hours analyzing every last detail about the relationship. Over-analysis of a broken relationship only leads to confusion, depression, and is a massive waste of time.
These people always end up getting confused and coming to the wrong conclusion because they cannot look at the situation in a balanced way. They end up either worshiping their ex or hating them for what has happened. Once you’ve thought through what went wrong with the relationship and what was good about it, let it go or you will cause yourself unnecessary drama and heartache.
4. Don’t go on the rebound.
While it is important to move on and to be around other people, beware of rebound dating. Rebound dating is when you jump into a new relationship without getting to know the person in the hopes that this new relationship will heal your broken heart. Unfortunately, rebound dating usually results in another break up and more heartbreak.
Rebound dating also causes you to compare the new person with your last love. Comparing others never works. You likely have a distorted view of your last love. No one will meet those standards. Try dating just for fun or hanging out just to get to know someone better.
If you have the capacity to love, then you have the capacity to be hurt. We have free, confidential mentors who would love to talk with you and support you. Just click on the “Connect” button below.
This article was originally published on TheHopeLine®.
This article was written by: Dawson McAllisterPhoto Credit: Olhar Angolano