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I needed him to listen and show that he cared about how I felt – to look me in the eyes and be present so I’d know he had my back. But this wasn't something he knew how to do.
The few times we were intimate it was mechanical and void of emotion on his part. Then it stopped all together. In a bizarre way, his distancing made facing his death a lot easier. He inadvertently prepared me for widowhood.
I thought I was emotionally self-aware — that is, until my wife and I went to marriage counselling. I went in there expecting the session to help fix my wife and her feelings, but it turned into a discussion about why I had isolated myself from my own emotions.
It may seem old-fashioned to write a letter and mail it. Yet, the last time you got something in the mail besides ads and bills, wasn't it special?
Do you live under the same roof but feel a million miles away from the person you married? Is there little or no emotional support between you? There is hope. To move forward, you’ll need to understand what factors have eroded your intimacy and what you can do as a couple to rebuild your lost intimacy.
No one wants to hear those words. So what should we do when we do?
In spite of all the tricks we use to try and impress someone in the early stages of dating, intimacy is founded on knowing and being known. Do your actions and words communicate to your partner that it's safe for him to reveal his vulnerabilities to you?