Are you struggling with porn addiction? Is your addiction taking over your life? Many, many people do. There are plenty of resources available to help you beat that addiction. And when it comes to rebuilding your marriage, though it takes time, but it can be done.

Video Transcript:

Yes, porn actually rewires your brain, so what becomes arousing is an image in a movie or magazine, not your spouse. To stop using porn is going to be difficult for you because it gives you a physical and emotional high just like any other addiction.

If you want to stop, you can’t do this alone. You need to tell people — and I’m not talking about telling the whole world. But, you need to find someone for whom you can be accountable.

Technology helped you become addicted and it can help you stop. There are tons of ways you can block sites on your computer, or install programs which email other people if you go on an inappropriate site. Get them! They are very helpful. Go to a counseling center or church and ask if they have an accountability system. Research on the web and go to sites such as Pureintimacy.org or XXXChurch.com. You can also contact our confidential mentors who are trained to help you through this. There are tons of resources for people like you. You are not alone.

It’s going to take a while to rebuild your sex life. That’s okay. It is the same with any addiction. You can't just go from being addicted to being free overnight. It’s not only going to take awhile for you to readjust to intimacy with your spouse but for your body to respond to to your spouse and not the imagery. So give yourself a break. Don't berate yourself or go through a ton of guilt. Be honest with your spouse, tell them you want to love them and you want your marriage to be great. Explain that you want them to trust you again and you are trying to do that. Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse to help you learn to be intimate again. Be naked together, take baths or showers together, but keep it low key so you don't have to think you must complete the deed.

Too often it happens that the addicted person wants to prove to themselves that they can still make love and use the porn, and everything is going great. Then they lose the arousal and start to fantasize again in order to get it back.

Don’t do that. Take it slow. Try to have sex without any fantasy, even if it takes several months to get to the point where you can do it. Make arousal without fantasy your goal, share it with your spouse, and help them learn they can trust you again.

Explain what you are doing to break your habit and tackle it as a couple. It will bring you closer together in all areas, not just in bed. As you re-establish intimacy and become comfortable with each other again, and your trust and love grows, your marriage will be stronger than it ever was before. If you can battle this together and beat it, your relationship can survive anything.

And if at anytime you need support as you combat this addiction, our mentors are available. Do not be afraid to reach out to one. We won’t judge, even if you slip. We are here to help you, and your spouse too if he or she wants it as well.

Just be sure to explain to your spouse you are communicating with a counselor and not chatting on a porn sight, okay?




This article was written by: Sheila Gregoire

Photo Credit: Benjamin Voros