Before we got married, sex was great. We used to have sex at least once per day. Within a week after the marriage, he began to lose interest in it. Now it is once per week or once every 2 weeks, and when we do it it doesn’t seem like he wants to. It feels as though he is just doing it because I want to. He claims he is stressed about money, but I don’t understand why this would change the sex part of the relationship. In other areas as well, regarding my friends, where I go and with whom, he has been controlling and yells at me on a regular basis. Things that he said he liked about me before we were married are now a problem for him. I am worried and stressed and I feel so unattractive. I have never had a problem like this with a man before. Do you have any advice on why this type of thing happens? Is this a common thing? What can I do to make things better? I feel as though we are growing apart, which is sad.
Men do change. We’d suggest that you seek a good marriage counselor as a couple to talk about your relationship. Explain to your husband that you would like to do so simply to help you better understand his needs. When he does yell at you, draw up a list of the issues he mentions. Is it possible he is feeling frustrated, fearful, or resentful? Often, men react to their different negative emotions with anger or withdrawal. It is important to communicate with him in a way that remains loving, respectful and solution-oriented. If you accuse him, he may become more distant. If you like, you can also write in to one of our confidential mentors to continue exploring solutions to this situation.
This article was written by: Issues I FacePhoto Credit: Archie Campbell