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For the entire two years I was trapped in my destructive addiction, I didn't know even one female who also struggled with it.
At first it was a game to us, a kind of joke. We made a lot of money, got drunk, did drugs. We thought it was fun. But it all escalated really quickly.
It was the need for sex that prompted my reckless drinking. That way I wouldn’t remember the deplorable things I had done to gain the attention of a guy.
The few times we were intimate it was mechanical and void of emotion on his part. Then it stopped all together. In a bizarre way, his distancing made facing his death a lot easier. He inadvertently prepared me for widowhood.
A few years into our marriage, I discovered that my husband had been sending sexually explicit emails to women he had met on the Internet. That was just the beginning.
Sexual abuse (definition): forcing you to do or see something of a sexual nature against your will.
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