Will porn spice up your sex life? The short answer is no. Watching porn with your spouse will only make it difficult to be aroused by him or her. Sex starts to be about the images you’ve seen. Even if you’re physically present, you’re not really “making love.”

Relationship expert Sheila Wray Gregoire says couples need to put the porn away and focus on each other. She says that when her husband was in medical school, they were taught how to counsel couples having sexual problems. The number one thing they were told to do is to tell the couples to watch porn together. That way they will get excited and it will be so much greater. “Yeah, no. that does not work at all,” Gregorie says in her video.

Video Transcript:

Here is what happens when you are married and you watch porn together. You start getting aroused by an image, an idea and a fantasy rather then by each other. When you do go to bed together, you are not really in bed with your spouse. Instead you are thinking about all that stuff in your head and all that you have seen and projecting it upon them. You are going to find it extremely difficult to be present in the moment. You might be physically having sex, but you are not making love because what is going on in your head is totally different.

Porn does not help your sex life. What it does instead is make it harder and harder to get aroused by a person. If you are addicted to porn and your spouse is doing something with you; it is not truly affecting your body unless you start picturing those images in your head. Your body actually shuts down and can’t get aroused by what your spouse is doing; it has to be aroused by the pronographic images. For men it happens to a greater extent because their wives do not look like the people in porn.

Do you really want your marriage to be all about fantasizing about someone else? Or do you want it to be teaching you how to make love with your spouse? If you want to truly make love and to connect on a sexual, spiritual and emotional level with your spouse in bed, you’ve got to get rid of the porn.

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This article was written by: Sheila Gregoire