Isn’t porn harmless? If you think your use of porn isn’t hurting anybody, think again. Porn rewires your brain and can affect your relationships long-term, says relationship expert Sheila Wray Gregoire. Eventually you become aroused by an image, not your spouse. The short-term gratification of porn is never worth the long-term effects. Gregoire says that sex is supposed to draw people together on three different levels: Spiritual, physical and relational. We tend to think of sex as a physical thing. You have sex, you feel great and that’s wonderful. But sex was actually created to be something that bonds people together on all three levels.

Video Transcription:

Here is what happens when pornography comes into the picture. A lot of people are really involved in porn, we all know that. It all starts fairly innocently. For example, you are twelve years old. You are typing on the computer and all of a sudden a pornogrpahic images pops up on the screen. You weren’t even looking for it. Or maybe you go to a friend's house and they start showing you stuff they have found on the computer. And it takes you down this road where you use porn becuase it feels good. It is exciting and you aren’t hurting anyone, are you? It’s not like you are married or are cheating on someone. So, what’s the problem with it?

Well, the problem is that the porn starts to do a little thing in your brain — and this is true whether you are a guy or a girl. It begins to rewire your brain so that what becomes exciting is an image rather than a person. When you get married and you want to make love and connect on more than a physical level, but deeper on a relational and spiritual level too, you find that you can’t do it because it has become all about the physical aspect and not about any of the other stuff. And what’s more, you may find you will have a difficult time getting aroused with a person because you are used to being aroused by an image, a fantasy, which is often extreme and very unrealistic.

Pornography can wreck marriages. It also wrecks your long term sexual health. In fact, the leading cause of impotence and erectile dysfunction is pornography. The leading cause of sex-starved marriages is pornography.

So is porn harmless? No, it's not. It may be portrayed that way, but it is not. So you need to stop viewing porn and start re-wiring your brain to become involved with a human being again on all three levels. Stop thinking of sex as only physical, but as an act in a relationship meant to draw you two together.

Wondering how to rewire your brain to reconnect with your spouse? Sheila offers tips in this video: Help! I’m Addicted to Porn..

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This article was written by: Issues I Face Sheila Gregoire

Photo Credit: Victoria Heath